【胸弟們的人品之旅】- 第肆章

Chapter 4

After 3 days stay in Taipei, we were scheduled to go to Taichung today.

I vaguely remember it as one of the first few times we are actually on time and not rushing. Whatever happened to our sense of punctuality?

Anyway the High Speed Rail (高鐵) is really quite damn awesome.

It’s spacious, clean, fast and just comfortable. You don’t really feel a thing. 

Though the toilet is like the airplane style - which scared the shit out of me (not literally) when I thought I didn’t flush it and attempted to flush again BUT IT JUST FLUSH THE FUCK SUDDENLY.

But that aside I have to say that I enjoyed the 1 hr train ride so much more than our cramped 4 hrs jetstar flight, although it is rather expensive.

Inserts a random photo of me looking sleepy

Mui was spamming videos on the high speed rail but due to space constraint and my laziness, I shall not attempt to upload any.

Train ticket we bought from 7 a few days ago.

I was thoroughly shocked when we reached the station. 

Quite chio what not meh? Photograph taken while the others go pang jio.

Afterwards, we proceed to buy the 日月潭+九族文化村 套票 = 臺灣好行.

Will elaborate on this in the next post. –anger meter going up to red zone-

Took a little yellow to the hotel yao bra had booked =

臺中高苑商務酒店（中山店）

On our rather long (or was it because it felt so?) journey from the高鐵站 to our hotel, the 司機大哥 asked where we are planning to go today. We told him about our plans to go 中興嶺，and from there we will be going to 安妮公主花園 & 新社莊園。

Did I mention it was raining that day?

This meant that our original plan of viewing the fireflies at night have to be cancelled, because fireflies hide during rainy days.

And by some invisible divine forces, we forgot to book a tour for the fireflies the day before. So we don’t have the trouble of cancelling or anything.

人品爆滿！

Anyway, Mr Taxi started to use his walkie talkie, and link to other cabbies in their 車隊，and they kept trying to convince us to go for their 如意車隊承包旅遊一日遊。

I can repeat to you what he said:

薰衣草森林比較好玩啦~
不會騙你的啦！我們的女（女、女、女= n 次 emphasis）司機很用心導遊的！包車分四個人很劃算的！四個公主去安妮公主花園~（聽到這句我有一點無語，我堅信我是女王/王子，而且我们四个一看就知道是男生啊！）

I recalled yaobra was slightly bushuang about how pressing the Mr Taxi was, and because I don’t like people to tell me what to do too, I can understand her irritation.

But still, all pestering and business aside, it was a rather good deal.

I called my godma and asked her whether we should go for this deal, which was priced at NT2500 initially. She suggested that we should bargain to NT2000, and discuss the terms in details before agreeing to go for the service.

Meanwhile, Mr Taxi had already dropped us off at our destination, after a seemingly never ending ride with his never ending persuasion.

As we check in at the hotel, we were still thinking about the deal. I lied. We couldn’t check in as it wasn’t time yet, so we had to leave our baggage at the counter while we move on to other plans.

The hotel looks quite posh, but it was rather noisy and crowded as they were having a fire drill. The lady at the counter looked super flustered and kept apologizing for not answering our questions as she’s really super engaged with other matters.

At the point in time, we finally agreed to taking up the 包车 deal. 

Yao bra had successfully chopped the package price by NT500. 

I salute thee.

Thinking back, I think our 人品 really all used up that day. 

Or rather, 我們這一天的狗屎運真的無敵了。

If we hadn’t met the naggy Mr Taxi, we wouldn’t have known about such an attractive deal and it really saved us from a LOT of trouble and time.

To start off,  this is our tour guide for the day. 

If you’re planning to go Taichung and the places we’re visiting, I really strongly recommend that you go for packages like these, as it will save you a lot of time and way more convenient, as those areas are rather inaccessible.

I don’t have the contact details of our tour guide, but I think mui has it. 

Otherwise, you can just google 台中包车 and you should be able to get relevant information.

旅行剛開始時略尷尬，因為和彭女士不熟。

不過坐在前座身負重任的我還是勉強和她談了起來。

據說她在這一行做了差不多有十年了，而且也接過蠻多新加坡的客人的，而且多數都留了電子郵箱。

她也分享了自己的照片，車隊的官方網站，等等。

最重要的是她也分享了wifi.

在這裏說一下，臺灣的無線網絡真的是太給力了，我感動的快落淚了。不管去到便利商店、商場、酒店、民俗、廁所（誇張了）或的士，就連山上都還有無線網絡！！！

還沒提到最爽的事 = 都是沒有設密碼保護的 = 隨便君子免費使用。

他媽的 我們星加坡用的是什麽鳥 wireless@sg, sign in 後還是蠻得要死，不然就是根本不能用。

學學人家臺灣啦！！

-回到正題-

商討了我們一天的行程安排後，我們所得到的結論是：

臺中出名的東東芋圓 –〉安妮公主花園 –〉新社莊園 –〉購買臺中伴手禮 –〉逢甲夜市（結束）

話說我們當時是難得的空腹狀態，又累又惡心，不過對我來說還不至於回想嘔吐的境界。

在彭女士無數次“知足”翻唱版本的loop之下，我們在接近上山前到達了第一站 – 東東芋圓

記得這家電顛覆了我們所想象的芋圓店。彭女士一直推薦(就連Mr Taxi 也)這一家，然後要我們拿這個與九份的芋圓做比較。

因為在九份那家店面古早味很強悍，所以看到這麽新潮的芋圓店就稍微的有一點點驚訝。

室內裝璜以及正在點餐的瑤胸

彭女士也點了一碗熱呼呼的。

由於我們是白癡，我們點錯了 –〉點成冰的。

我們點了兩碗不一樣的，換著吃。

好像是一碗仙草、珍珠、芋頭和一碗紅豆、大豆芋頭。

连图案都这么可爱新潮！

不過還是無敵的美味！雖然說冷天吃冰塊略M了

我們的結論是，九份芋圓和東東芋圓各有千秋。

整體來說大家的可以同意的是，九份贏在番薯，東東贏在芋圓。

個人覺得有湯比較好喝（九份），不過不喜歡吃芋頭的我竟然很願意+喜歡吃東東芋圓裏的芋頭！

吃完後拍拍屁股走人的我們，繼續坐著舒服的車往新社出發。

一路上彭女士都有用心介紹風景給我們，像是什麽桃子阿，檳榔，李 etc.

惡心的是我們途中一直經過黑色的篷子屋，傳說中裏面正在種植蘑菇

殺。了。我。吧。

彭女士本來要帶我們去繞百菇村的，不過因為我和連胸都有mycophobia (恐故癥)，所以就沒去了。。差點口吐白沫。額，想到都還會做個weird body wave.

Disclaimer:  蘑菇我還是會吃的，不過我不喜歡生的，而且會怕根深蒂固長在某某生物上的菇類。連胸是根本不吃。

一會兒後，我們抵達很漂亮夢幻浪漫的安妮公主花園。（還在下雨）

說到安妮，我忍不住想插播一首歌：

Smooth Criminal - MJ 

雖然不是說很餓（芋圓飽得差不多了），不過我們還是興奮的直奔二樓的餐廳了。

大長的是點餐卷，小張的是入門卷。

這裏的好處就是你的入門卷時可以抵消的。換句話說，就是你在安妮公主花園內購買東西時可以把這些入門票當成現金來使用。

Me and yao bra using mui’s camera to record while the other two are stroking pussies downstairs with money in their hands.

Apparently the pussies are up for adoption too, and there are way too many.

AND OMG IT’S SO FLUFFY SO CUTE.

A meal that comes with a huge bowl of creamy soup and salad

Mui’s super delicious 女王陛下（也就是我）青醬野菇面

The rest of us like to eat meat so much, we ordered the same dish that looks the most filling and can’t go wrong à綠色森林魔法雞腿排

飽到喉嚨去了。

不過也還是吃得很開心啦。。我最愛吃肉了muahahahaha

最後一道是甜點 – 牛奶布丁加上一層酸甜的檸檬醬

以及喝了很舒服的柚子茶

餐廳二樓的室內裝璜

餐廳一樓以及隨便某個角落的裝飾品

接下來，四個挺著大肚子的王子們去探險去了！

這個不需要解釋吧

為了讓正在讀此篇章的正常人能夠理解，我指的是吃飽後的我們開始遊園了。

自戀十連拍的其中一張

別以為我會這麽輕易就放過你：還有很多

然後大家都很像情侶

剛剛用餐的地方

Big, black pussy

為了讓我們參觀拍照，雨暫時停了

I know you’re judging us, I know.

Another collage of flowers and whatnots, me and yaobra being the whatnots

One of my favourite flower shot :D

In the garden, there are many signboards like these and they’ll ask you to follow the procedures and smell the plant. The last photo looks like a nose with lots of black heads. If they don’t draw the black dots… #ifyouknowwhatimean

Reached this section of the garden where there are fake sheeps/lamps/mehs and we brave souls crossed the pile of fake sheet from the mehs.

Zen mode.

The ice cream store that wasn’t open.

Sadly, most the the stores weren’t open that day. But that means thank heavens, we saved the money that could have been used for shopping. Heh.

And then we started our self cam adventures again, while getting judging looks by passerbys.

I cannot unsee the comments about lian bra for this photo.

Yu Shan 屎连侧面好销魂

Mui Sock lianying 看到 yueyao 然后触电了 

It was rather tiring to take 10 shots with many breaks in between… but that meant that we had the time to do the bottom two photos LOL.

從剛才的木頭假樹上看到了一片別人的愛情故事。

碎片。

Meanwhile, if you’re thinking about where is 彭女士，she was having her own share of fun at the gardens and all.

She accidentally showed us her 自拍 and the pussies. Oops.

More photos of the garden

沒有肚皮繼續塞進去的下午茶 Y_Y

還蠻搞笑的溫馨提醒

Ok no more photos of pussies. Really

Here’s a video: 

MAJORLY KAWAII!!!!! HOW IS IT EVEN LEGAL TO BE THIS CUTE!!!!! AHHHH

Uhem.

我們離開安妮公主花園時/後，雨又開始繼續下了。

下一個目的地是很接近安妮的新社莊園，也有人稱為新社古堡。與安妮公主花園一樣，入園時要給錢的，不過只有一小部分能夠拿來抵消。

彭女士放我們下車後，我們自己走入了歐式的花園：

踏進園子裏所看到的。

本來想要省略掉十連拍，不過太對不起自己了，所以我還是放上來吧。

表示被這張雷到了

 隨便放幾張意思意思

As we were too tired doing the slow mo 10 consecutive shots, I decided to halt the process. So I walked over and covered the lens with my hands... and mui survived. 

She actually survived.

This photo… ok I let you laugh first. Done laughing?

I thought the camera has finished its 10 times job, so I turned it around and tragedy just happened.

The place where we had afternoon tea (YES, WHAT?) later that day

Photo spam because it’s really quite beautiful. Such a pity it was drizzling ): would have been chio max if there were blue skies.

There are so many photos I want to post but due to space and laziness… just make do with these k? if you want can go my facebook see. 

(OMG MY SINGLISH LEVELED UP)

Ok one last one of the series with me doing a jump shot and mui almost hitting my face, yao bra covering her face with le boss and lianbra acting cute (but not cute).

Seemingly same series but yao bra just tragic, ok la a little cute. A little. A lit.

We continued our adventures, following the map given to us together with the entrance tickets (JK, I HAD NO IDEA WHERE WE WERE HEADING TO)

I don’t really know what this god forsaken building is for, but I can only remember one thing. See the yellow artistic looking run down staircase?

THAT PLACE IS FUCKING SMELLY!!!!!!

IT’S A SMELL THAT I CAN’T DESCRIBE AND REGRET THAT I CANNOT LET YOU SMELL IT. (google nose should just materialize)

I’m like giggling to myself as I recall the memories of us retreating when we smelt the foul smell in the staircase. Apparently it leads to nowhere and I’m the only brave soul who walked way up the stairs to find out that the door is fucking locked.

We moved on.

酒莊，not much interest cause it looks expensive.

山上花朵的顏色好艷麗！

And I was telling mui how the red sea of flowers looks like a used up pad.

You are well come.

Then this place! Is beautiful! And mui kept saying the fengshui here is very good, because..

I can pee here and no one will know hehehehe

Say this place is chio. Say.

From this photograph you can prolly see that it was raining quite badly, and as yao bra say (but we don’t know if it’s true), it’s raindrops not dandruff.

Thus, we moved to the nearest sheltered area, which is a shop just nearby, to 避雨， and to pretend that we’re looking at their goods.

The shop and some of its decorations, and the blonde snow white that irritates me… because HOW CAN SNOW WHITE BE BLOND？SNOW WHITE SHOULD BE A CHINESE/ASIAN （WITH RELATIVELY BIG EYES）

I hope you have a good sleep tonight.

Cannot get enough of showing you… it feels like we weren’t in Taichung at all.

And due to my bravery, I placed my camera with its tripod attached onto this brick sink, and it was on the verge of toppling.

I’d do anything for pictures.

Which gives me the license to post this.

Another of my favourite flower shot. 

This colour is like officially one of my favourite colours！(Mint made the list too, but pink will always be there)

雨下得太大了，我們連傘都拿出來了。

繼續遊走的興致沒了。

所以雖然不是很餓，為了避雨我們又到了新設莊園的餐廳享用下午茶。

平時周末有看一店電視的我最愛看旅行應援團了，而且剛巧出國前的那個周末，他們正在播著新社特級，也介紹了新社莊園的美食 - 德國豬腳。

我真的是很想很想很想吃，不過我發誓肚皮快破了，只裝得下一小片蛋糕。。。

所以就造成了我此生的遺憾。

他媽的下次還要再去臺中！！！！ 氣死老娘。

有四款蛋糕任君挑選，不過沒創意的我們還是選擇了最保險的

提拉米蘇和芝士蛋糕。

因為入園票可抵消100元，所以一片蛋糕我們只花了20元

-吃貨的燦爛笑容-

有一點面癱了

入园卷四张

吃飽喝足了，我們決定離開，趕到下一個景點。。（竟然是會吃更多的夜市）

我現在嚴重懷疑我增的一公斤完全是這天卡路裏爆表的錯

看到幾只悲劇的，我應該是不用解釋。。

我懷疑有白癡坐在鴨嘴上

想要離開的我們找到了彭女士

不過因為我們說我們沒有到另一端，她又推薦我們去看，我和連胸帶著YOHO (You’re only here once) 的心態，就往前去了。。

不過風景蠻美的 #我不後悔走多幾步

彭女士偷拍圖片一張

有人拿著相機拍，不好意思扮鬼臉

好了啦，最後一張新社莊園的

Fell asleep on the way back to the city, where we will be heading to a souvenir/pastry shop to buy goodies.

When I woke up, we were already in the city and there was this park place that’s quite beautiful and 彭女士 was like introducing its their newest underground sort of park and many people would queue for the food in the restaurant there.

A rather famous shop that sells 太陽餅，鳳梨酥 之類的

臺中出名的就是這些東西，感覺上隨便一家店的都很好吃。

我後悔的是沒有多買一些。可是當時想到要擡東西上高雄就沒興趣啊。。

滿載的商品。

我們一到那裏時就直奔廁所，然後出來後拼命試吃

最後，我買了一小包豬肉餅（很脆很好吃）和他們的招牌檸檬餅。我恨我沒有買多一盒，不過還好沒有，因為一小包的卡路裏是403大卡。

最後，彭女士將我們載到了本來已經沒有打算去的逢甲夜市。她就在這裏和我們說拜拜了，有點不好意思當時忘了給小費。。。不然就是我錢包真的沒有散錢了。

我們被扔下的路口

下車前彭女士還很親切的指示我們應該要怎麽回酒店/搭公車。

謝謝你咯，後會有期！

开胃菜永远都是串烧。

永。远。

我和美胸一人三串，我買了羊肉，雞胗，雞肉。

Then, the hyungs ate 霜降牛

太明顯了，別再吞口水了

然後喝了一間態度惡劣+坑人的木瓜牛奶

貌似人氣很高的店，所以我和連胸買了一串

我點了一串“隨便”，所以我真的不知道我吃了什麽

And another thing that tastes like takoyaki but is not takoyaki that me and the hyungs shared.

Clearer view: there’s even vegetables that goes on top of it.

Very unique taste that I’ve never eaten before

雖然飽得要死了，不過我們還是一直尋找逢甲夜市必吃的懶人蝦

終於找到了，不過不知道是不是最正宗的

不過瑤胸說是最便宜的，就相信他吧。

烤的鮮蝦啊~~~ 椒鹽檸檬吧，老闆推薦的。

所謂懶人蝦就是不剝開，從頭到尾都能吃的。可惜美胸不吃蝦頭，不過我已經塞不下了，所以扔了。

我在淡水篇提到的，傻逼公車站。

尼瑪公車站牌放這麼高，是歧視矮子咯？而且這樣子怎麼找巴士站啊？！？！都沒有人反饋嗎！！！！

And I just realize I didn’t frame the bus signposts in this photograph. But if you use the white line on the pole as a gauge (left side of photo), that will roughly be the height of the bus boards.

我誠心誠意（的指教，大發慈悲回答你）的敬佩台灣人。。。

做了八公里內0元的巴士，我們回到了酒店。。。我也覺得我們好厲害，人生地不熟竟然可以乘搭其他國家的交通工具，而且也沒有過站、迷路之類的悲劇。

不知道我和瑤胸在車裡說了什麽，不過我記得我們一直在笑。。可能是累瘋了。

回到酒店后，終於可以check in了。

Hyungs們忙著搶房間，不過較好（不色情）的房間還是被我和美胸拿去了。

我只想說整間房間很寬敞，高級。唯一噁心的是，廁所門不能鎖，也不能完全關上+半透明。

所以你裸體的身影、線條會被roomie看光光。

便味兒也能夠傳出。

不好意思噁心到您了。

Buys of the day:

一福堂的貨

超級無敵好吃檸檬蛋糕餅（不過是卡路里炸彈 ）

不過完全值得。

杏仁肉紙

發誓（沒這麼嚴重）不買吃的回去的瑤胸，和我一起試吃的時候發瘋了。這個真的很棒哦！想打自己，爲什麽只買了一包。

Group photo 

第四天就這樣結束了哦！（有玩牌啦）非常充實的一天！

;Kace
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